


a scratch and an itch

by violethoure666



Series: Reylo Kink Prompts [3]
Category: Star Wars - All Media Types
Genre: Anal Fingering, Crack Treated Seriously, F/M, Fuck Or Die, Needy Ben, PWP, Sex Pollen, Space Virgins, everyone is thirsty
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-01
Updated: 2018-06-01
Packaged: 2019-05-16 23:47:16
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,897
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14821199
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/violethoure666/pseuds/violethoure666
Summary: Ben gets infected by a space monster and will literally die if he doesn't have sex. Rey is up to the challenge.Moodier and more intimate than it sounds because I wrote it.





	a scratch and an itch

**Author's Note:**

> This is for @asongforjonsa who requested fuck or die from my kink list. Jokes on you, I was totally gonna write this anyway ;)
> 
> Huge thanks to @black_lodge for editing this while she's at work. My hero.

The artifact was hidden on Hoth.

Rey had never seen snow and it took her all of five minutes to decide that she hated it.

Beautiful? Definitely.

Practical? Not even a little bit.

She even thought she preferred sand and really, she _hated_ sand.

They were camping in the Falcon. Once the sun set on Hoth, the temperature dropped down low enough to kill a human being in under ten minutes, and the days were _short_. It left them a small window to search and a lot of down time.

It was just her and Ben Solo.

When Rey first joined the Resistance, she had been warned about him.

Ben was the son of Han Solo and Leia Organa, the nephew of Luke Skywalker, namesake of Obi Wan Kenobi.

He had let them _all_ down, apparently. Kaydel and Rose had confessed the entire story to Rey a few weeks in over a few Bloomfruit coolers.

“He was born incredibly force sensitive,” Kaydel said, “like, scary sensitive. From what I understand, Leia was worried he would go dark before he even took his first breath.”

“That's awful,” Rey said. How sad to know your mother was terrified of you, always.

“But he didn't?” Rey asked.

“No-- well, it's complicated. Leia wanted Luke to train him, make him a Jedi, crush all the dark side shit. Han wanted to raise Ben sans Force, and ultimately they left it up to Luke who refused to do it. So Ben has a lot of raw power but he never had any training,” Kaydel said.

“Isn't that dangerous?” Rey asked.

“Well I mean, Leia didn't have any training, and neither did you, Rey. It's not necessary to train, because even light side training is gonna deepen your connection to the Force, open you up to all kinds of influence.”

“So… what's the deal then? Why is everyone so… put off?”

Rey had noticed the way people seemed to walk on eggshells around Ben.

“He's just-- intense. And kind of a dick. He had some serious anger stuff a few years ago, earned himself the nickname Captain Tantrum. He's calmed down a bit, but… he's just… dark. Like I'm not force sensitive and even I can feel it. He just sort of-- repels.”

Rey did not find that Ben _repelled_.

In fact, she was oddly drawn to him. It was just like, if he was in a room, her eyes found him. She _was_ Force sensitive and she _did_ feel the intensity of Ben in rolling waves, and yeah there _was_ darkness there but it wasn't unpleasant. It was enticing, and shot through with light as well. It wasn't the same way Leia felt or Luke felt, she could see what people meant, but it was powerful and beautiful and it made Rey want to sink down into him like a deep, dark ocean.

It was kind of a moot point, though, because Ben didn't seem to like being around Rey. Whatever Force signature she was putting out, he seemed to actually find it repulsive.

If he walked into a room, she felt drawn to him, but if she walked into a room, he turned around and walked out.

She had caught him looking at her, watching her, but it was always paired with a scowl, or a look that was somehow sad and disgusted all at once.

The fact that they had been paired up for this mission was _uncomfortable_ to say the least. Rey had tried to get out of it. But their numbers were down and Poe was leading a flight squad and Finn had been injured and Rose was needed for engineering repairs and Rey wasn't in a position to argue with Leia.

When they left, she figured it was like what, two days max? They had the location of the artifact narrowed down to within a few hundred yards. She just really hadn't accounted for how much harder everything was in the snow.

Ben was arguably colder than Hoth.

He didn't speak to her unless it was to discuss protocol or a plan, and he spent all of their _copious_ down time reading on his holopad and ignoring Rey.

Which was _just fine_ with her; the Falcon was good for eating up time. It needed an endless stream of repairs.

Except that Rey was kind of losing her mind.  


 

On day four, she broke.

“Let's play a game.”

Ben put the holopad down and _glared_ at her. “I don't like games,” he said, and then dropped his gaze.

“Ben, please. I'm losing it. I-- I spent a really long time alone and it makes me-- I don't like it.”

Ben looked up at her, face unreadable. He sighed, shoulders dropping. “What did you have in mind?”

Rey jumped up and dashed out of the room. She came back out a bottle of Corellian nectar she had seen stashed in the cockpit and a wicked grin.

“Truth or dare,” Rey said.

“You're kidding me. What is this, summer camp?”

Rey smirked. “Come on Ben, it’ll be fun. We can get to know each other.”

Ben looked positively _dismayed_ at the prospect of knowing Rey better but he turned the holopad off and braced his elbows on his knees. Rey brought a chair up across from him and pulled her legs up.

It was freezing outside, but warm in the falcon. This ship already felt more like home than anywhere Rey had ever lived.

She was thrilled by the prospect of conversation, even if it was Ben. She could feel a mixture of emotion rolling of him, his desire to be elsewhere, his frustration, his loneliness. There were other things too, she could tell he was doing this for her benefit, and the thought warmed her.

She poured dark liquid into two glasses and put them between them.

“Truth or dare,” she asked, sipping her nectar.

“Truth,” Ben said, sighing deeply.

Rey grinned.

“Okay, we’re gonna start simple. What's your favorite planet.”

“Naboo,” Ben said without hesitating.

“Naboo! Really? I've never been.”

“It's beautiful.”

“I've heard.”

Ben sipped his drink and there was an awkward silence.

“Truth, too,” Rey said.

Ben tilted his head, thinking.

“What's the most embarrassing thing that's ever happened to you.”

Rey's eyes widened.

“Uhm… okay, let me think,” she said with a giggle.

She took another pull from her drink and licked her lips.

“I grew up alone, you know? I was never around other people and I never even considered things like manners or embarrassment. Not until I got to the Resistance,” Rey said, looking away from Ben. “Then a few days in I was with a few people in the mess, having lunch, and again-- remember,” she implored Ben, eyes wide, “I had never really had _food_ , only portions, so you can imagine-- well I was just going for it. Shoving food in my face, really unattractive and gross and I-- just belched, didn't even think about it, you know?”

Rey felt her face heat up and she buried her face in her hands, voice mumbled as she went on.

“And Poe-- Poe was just-- I don't think he meant to be cruel but he was sort of shocked, and so he says _Stars, Rey, you're cute but you're kind of disgusting,_ and everyone just-- burst out laughing. And I didn't get it at first, I'm dull, so it took me a moment and then I just wanted to die,” Rey smiled weakly, looking back up at Ben.

“You're not dull, or disgusting,” Ben said.

Rey felt herself blush. That was not the reaction she had been expecting

“What about the cute part?” she asked, trying to tease and lighten the mood.

Ben just blinked at her and then he said, “Truth.”

“Oh, yeah uhm, okay.” Rey tried to think of something even more embarrassing. “Have you ever wet your pants?”

Ben nearly choked on his nectar.

“You're kidding, that's what you wanna know?”

“Yep.”

She watched his face color slightly.

“I mean-- as a _kid_ \-- like, kids do that sometimes.”

“Sure they do. Now spill.” She liked seeing him flustered. She decided to continue to fluster him for as long as she could get away with it.

Ben scoffed and rolled his eyes. “Okay well, I mean, I was probably about six, I was with my father on Coruscant and my mother was giving some speech, and I kept _asking_ him if I could use a bathroom but he kept telling me to _wait,_ and really, who's fault is that? I mean I was six.”

Rey felt warm from the nectar and it was easy to laugh. Ben's eyes narrowed, but the corner of his mouth quirked up.

“Anyway, he was probably more horrified than I was, considering we were in a grand senate hall.”

Rey laughed. Ben smirked.

“Okay, your turn. Truth or dare.”

“Hmmmm, truth,” Rey said, because really what could he possibly dare her to do, alone on this ship, _except_ … Rey blushed and pushed the thought away.

“What scares you most?” Ben asked, leaning toward her.

“ _Deep_ , Solo,” Rey said, smirking.

Ben shrugged.

“I guess just-- being alone again. I spent so much time alone and you know, you can get used to just about anything, but I don't think I could go back now. It's hard to even be here, be so quiet.”

Ben didn't say anything but she _felt_ sympathy and guilt roll off of him. She tried to let herself radiate comfort and nonchalance.

“Okay your turn.”

“Truth,” Ben said.

“What were you like when you were little? What did you want to be?”

“That’s two questions,” Ben said, swallowing, “but I’ll answer them both. I wasn’t a _sweet_ kid, I was always angry. And scared. _All_ the time. I was alone a lot too, _always_ alone, and I hated it.”

“Oh,” Rey said.

“And I wanted to be a pilot.”

“A pilot! Really? Did you fly a lot?”

“I learned on this ship. There’s a height chart in the cargo hold with my height every year. I started flying this ship when I was about 11, and I used to podrace, back on Chandrilla,” Ben smiled. “I won.”

“I bet you did,” Rey said, and she meant it. Ben didn't seem like the kind of person who did anything halfway. She liked the idea of a teenage Ben racing, how free he must have felt.

Ben nodded. He was looking at her with more interest and intensity than he ever had and the weight of his eyes was dark and warm. It made her squirm.

Rey finished the liquid in her glass.

“Truth,” she said.

Ben's response was immediate. “Have you ever been kissed?”

The question made her dizzier than the nectar. She felt her face flush

“Ben!” she squealed as she topped off the glasses, drinking another swig. “If you must know, then no. No one has ever kissed me, but hey! On _Jakku_ , with those sand creeps and junk hunters and kriffing _Plutt--_ trust me, that's a good thing.”

She felt a dark wave of something roll of of Ben. Possessiveness? No… protectiveness?

“I’m fine,” she said, suddenly in hurry to assure him.

He nodded, and bit his lip.

“What about you, have you ever like-- done it? Sex?”

“Rey!”

“You started it!”

Ben’s face was flush too, and his eyes were sparkling. She saw a muscle in his jaw work before he opened his mouth, eyes dipping down to a spot on the floor. “Uh, no. I guess I never really pursued it, and I don’t think I’m exactly-- I’m not the kind of-- I mean look at me.”

He shrugged.

“Uh, what?” Rey said. “ _Ben Solo_ are you kidding me? You’re like-- all dark and handsome and... big-armed.”

Ben looked up at her, surprise on his face. “What?”

“Yeah, I mean, it’s fine that you haven’t, _obviously_ _same_ , but it’s NOT because you’re not attractive. Do you think that's why I haven’t?”

“Obviously not, Rey, I mean you’re--” Ben cut off mid sentence. Looking away from her.

“Dare,” Rey said, bold from nectar and feeling this connected to someone.

_Dare me to touch you._

He must have been able to feel the desire coursing off of her, he had to. He looked up at her, locked his eyes onto hers.

“I dare you... to go to sleep,” he said gently.

Oh. Rey felt the icy pang of rejection, a sinking feeling in her stomach.

“Oh, yeah, sure. Okay.”

Ben got up and cleared the glasses, disappearing down the hall behind her.

“Goodnight Rey,” he said kindly.

“Night.”

Rey stayed where she was for a long time.  


___________  


The next few days weren’t as awkward as Rey worried they would be. In fact, if anything, Ben was a little softer toward her. Maybe not _softer_ , but he _talked_ a little more. He showed her videos on the holopad and made an effort to coexist and keep her company. They drank tea together before bed.

Still. They were both eager to get back to base.

Things had been going so smoothly, so quietly and calmly, that when something _did_ go wrong, it took them both by surprise.

It happened really quickly. One minute they were walking through the snow, gear strapped to their backs, and the next a pale and twisted tentacle shot from the ground below them. It was the color of moonlight, and it had a single claw such a dark shade of red that it looked black.

It rose up, up and up, and then it plunged back down. Slicing Ben from eye to chest.

Rey _screamed_.

The creature emitted a high pitch whine, eerie and echoing, before disappearing back beneath the icy ground.

Ben staggered, his hand coming up to grasp at Rey's shoulder.

“Hey, hey, you're okay,” Rey said, but there was panic in her voice. She and Ben stumbled back to the Falcon. As soon as the door shut, she was pulling off Ben’s clothes.

“It's not that bad, I was just surprised, really Rey look it's not that deep.”

She tugged at his clothes until she could see the long line of the gash.

“What was that thing?”  

“I think it was a Thrushwest, but I'm hoping I'm wrong. Listen to me, Rey,” Ben grabbed her shoulder. He was shirtless in front of her, the gash wasn't deep but it was red and it looked painful. “I need you do as I say. This isn't contagious as long as you listen to me-- because if this is what I think it is, I'm going to-- _change_. I'm not going to be fully myself in a little bit and I need you to promise me, _hey_ _promise me,_ if I try to hurt you, you will kill me. Killing blow. No questions asked.”

“Ben, you're scaring me, stop it,” Rey said, and she felt hot tears on her cheeks. Was he dying?

“It's gonna be okay as long as you listen. Just let me ride this out, don't-- don't get in my way. You promise? Rey, I can't live with myself if I hurt you-- promise me. _Promise me_!” He was frantic now.

“I promise!” she cried.

Ben was panting. He stepped away from her, his skin was flush and he was sweating. He looked ragged and raw and beautiful. She wanted to touch him.

“I'm going into my sleeping quarters and I'm locking the door. I want you to lock me in from the outside. Do you understand? Don't open the door Rey, even when we land. No matter what I say just-- just get us out of here.”

Rey did what Ben asked. She blocked the door from the outside, and then she ran to the cockpit.

But the Falcon wouldn't start. No power was reaching the main thrusters. She could fix it, but it would take a few hours and _Ben_ \-- she didn't know how long Ben had.

She tried rewiring from the main control panel but it was no use, she would have to go down to the engines.

She ran as fast as she could.

About an hour later she was racing back through the hall to get extra replacement coils when she passed Ben’s sleeping quarters and heard him-- crying?

She pressed her ear to the door. She could hear Ben inside and he sounded like he was in pain.

“Ben? Tell me how I can help, please,” she begged.

“Keep this door SHUT,” he screamed.

Rey bit her lip. Time was precious, and she didn't have enough of it, but she ran the opposite direction, back into the main room, and grabbed Ben's holopad.

She typed in Thrushwest.  


**THRUSHWEST**

**A HIGHLY DANGEROUS CREATURE.**

**THE STING OF A THRUSHWEST CAUSES UNCONTROLLABLE AND PAINFUL AROUSAL. THE SUBJECT WILL BE COMPELLED TO PROCREATE. ONLY EXTENDED INTERCOURSE CAN SAVE THE BITTEN VICTIM. DEATH IS UTTERLY AVOIDABLE IF THE SUBJECT ENGAGES IN SEXUAL ACTIVITY WITHIN TWO HOURS OF INFECTION. AFTER THAT, THE RISK OF DEATH INCREASES BY THE MINUTE.**

Rey dropped the holopad and sprinted back toward Ben. It had already been an hour! Maybe more. God they were five hours away from any resistance base, what the fuck was he thinking? Did he want to die?

Rey got to the door and froze. She had to have sex with Ben. It wasn't even a question, of course she would do it. But was the idea so disgusting to Ben that he would _literally_ rather die?

It didn't matter, she was going to save his life whether he wanted it or not. She was _not_ going to let him die because of her.

“Ben-- I'm coming in.”

“Rey _don't_ ,” Ben cried.

“I know what it is, Ben, and the Falcon won't start-- I need-- I need time and I am _not_ letting you die.”

“Rey please don't,” Ben begged, but Rey unblocked the door. It was still locked from the inside but she used the Force to slam the last bolt free and she rushed into the room.

“Oh! Oh god, Ben,” she gasped.

Ben looked absolutely wrecked. He was on the floor and he had his pants around his knees. His dick was in his fist, hand pumping mercilessly. He didn't even stop jerking off when Rey’s eyes dipped to watch.

“Rey, please go, _please_ , I'm so sorry, I don't want--”

But Rey just stepped closer to him.

“Don't be ridiculous, Ben, I'm not letting you--” she took a shuddering breath, “I'm not letting anything happen to you. I'm here. I know what we need to do, please let me.”

From what Rey read, she had assumed that Ben would jump her as soon as she was close enough. But he wasn't even looking at her, she could feel waves of desire but also shame and disgust.

“Ben,” she crouched down next to him, brought a hand up to his face. He was still fisting his cock and it looked so rough, so painful. She stroked his cheek and he whined, turning his face toward her.

“Rey, it hurts,” he sobbed.

“Please let me help,” she whispered, pressing a soft kiss to his cheek.

“I don't wanna hurt you,” Ben said, and his eyes were on her now, pupils blown out too wide to be natural.

“You won't hurt me, I trust you. I _want_ to do this, Ben, let me touch you,” she said.

Ben made another desperate sound and threw his head back. Rey moved her hand down between his legs pushing Ben’s hand away.

“Let me help,” she whispered, wrapping her little hand around Ben. He immediately let out a gasping sob of relief.

“Oh, oh my god, Rey, don't stop,” Ben said, bringing one hand up to tangle in her hair and pull her closer. She was pressed to his side, on her knees, and she tried to keep a similar pace and rhythm but she had never done this before. She kissed the skin of his throat because she was so close and, well, his dick was in her hand, surely she could--

Ben tugged her lips away from his skin and Rey felt her stomach drop at the idea that even like this, as desperate as he was, he didn't want her-- but then his mouth was crushing against hers and oh-- Ben Solo was kissing her.

His lips were so, so soft. Too gentle for this moment, searching and intense. Rey gasped a little against him.

“Show me how to do it, Ben, I don't know how to do it,” she said.

“You're perfect, you have no idea,” Ben said, lips working against her neck. “Just the feeling of your skin on mine-- everything hurts _so_ _badly_ when you're not touching me.”

Rey bit back a little whimper because she had _not_ been bitten by a Thrushwest and therefore had _no_ reason to be that worked up except that Ben smelled _so_ good, felt _so_ good this close to her. Watching his face scrunch up and slacken with her ministrations was intoxicating. She immediately felt guilty, ducking her head down.  

“It's gonna be okay, I’ve got you, it doesn't have to hurt,” she said. Ben let out another desperate little cry and his mouth went slack, eyes rolling back.

“I'm gonna come,” he grunted, and Rey sped up. Was it enough just to make Ben come? Would that cure him?

Then he was crying out, so needy, toes curling as his back bowed.

He came in thick spurts against her hand and his stomach. Rey had never seen anything like it, and unable to stop herself, she ran a finger through his seed.

The relief was short lived, his dick kept twitching, as hard as ever, and Ben sobbed again, slamming his back against the wall behind him.

“It's okay, I'm not going anywhere, it's okay,” Rey said.

“I'm _so_ sorry, Rey, I _never_ would have asked you to do this, I know this must be-- gross,” he turned his head away from her.

Was he serious? Ben was the most beautiful thing she'd ever seen. She tried to push that sentiment toward him through the Force. She couldn't stand him suffering both physical and emotional pain, not when she was secretly delighted to be touching him.

She sent him thoughts of touching him, picturing her lips on every mole, how badly she wanted to touch his ears.

_Beautiful, beautiful._

“Rey,” Ben gasped, eyes wide on her. She crawled between his legs. His cock was still so hard, aching and leaking and she wanted to kiss it.

She leaned down and trailed open mouthed kisses along the shaft.

“Oh _kriff_ ,” Ben groaned.

“Let me help,” she said again, and put her mouth over the swollen head. It tasted tangy and bitter but in a way that she liked, and she pushed that thought to him as well.

_I like the way you taste._

And then Ben’s thoughts came back to her, clearer than they had ever been.

 _I like the way you feel, the way you look like this, you are incredible_.

Rey groaned and sunk down on Ben, taking him deeper into her mouth. She didn't know what she was doing, but she was eager, and it was almost like she could _feel_ Ben’s reactions inside herself, which made it remarkably easy to find the right pace, to swallow him deeper, to hollow out her cheeks and _suck_ , tongue against his slit.

She gagged a little in her enthusiasm but Ben didn't mind, pushing his hips up to slide deeper down her throat, greedy for her.

“Gonna come again,” he cried, and he was fucking her face now. Rey had to pull back so his thrusts were more shallow.

He came in her mouth. There was still a lot of it and it pooled under tongue and against her teeth, thick and salty. She swallowed as much as she could but still some dribbled out on to her chin.

_So beautiful. All mine._

The thought came from Ben and made her shiver.

 _Yours_.

Coming didn't make any difference though, Ben was still painfully hard.  He was whimpering, near tears, his whole body trembling. God, he was seriously on one, whatever was coursing through his veins; Rey could feel it too, just a shadow of it, and it was enough to make her dizzy.

He sounded so desperate, and he brought his hands up to his face to cover his eyes.

She could feel him _wanting_ , no _needing_ \-- something. What?

“Ben, tell me what you need, please?”

Ben groaned, distraught.

“Come on, please trust me, just tell me.”

“Can you-- maybe just like-- one even-- _ahh._ ” He broke off, frustrated, at a loss for words.

Rey moved up closer to him, kissed his jaw, stroked his hair and he took a shuddering breath before _thinking_ the words at her.

 _I need your fingers in me,_ inside _me, please._

Rey’s eyes widened as she looked down the length of Ben's body. His pants still stuck around his ankles.

She let out a breath she didn't realize she had been holding.

“Off,” she said, pulling at them.

Ben moved lightning quick, kicking his pants off and spreading his legs. Rey looked down. She had never really seen anyone naked, certainly had never been able to take her time and explore anyone, and _this_ part of Ben was the most secret, the most _dirty_ and somehow-- the hottest. She couldn't believe she was allowed to touch.

Slowly she brought a finger up to the puckered little hole, tracing it. Ben jerked, hips arching. His eyes were wide on her.

Rey let her finger trace the little ring of muscle.

“Do you do this when you're alone?” she asked.

She felt embarrassment roll off Ben, but it was quickly overshadowed by need.

_You need to get them wet._

Rey brought her fingers to Ben’s mouth and he quickly sucked two of them in. Rey thought her head might explode.

_I'm sorry, I'm disgusting._

Ben's face was red, his eyes scrunched up tight.

Rey tried to push her feelings across to him.

_Want, want, want. Want you, want this. Wanted this for a long time._

Ben whimpered and Rey eased the tip of one finger into Ben’s fluttering little hole.

His lips parted and his eyes widened, totally black.

Rey worked her finger inside him, watched as his body swallowed her little digit. He was so soft inside, so hot. Rey was absolutely _dying_ , and she brought her free hand down to slip under her pants. Ben's straining cock twitched at the sight.

_You really like this?_

He looked dumbstruck.

Rey just swallowed and nodded, pushing another finger past the tight ring of muscle and into Ben. She did the same to herself, one hand working him, the other working herself. She couldn't get the angle right though, so she gave up on herself. She could wait. Ben needed her.

She tried to clear her mind, to _lean_ into him and _she did,_ she could feel what he felt, just the ghost of it but enough to guide her fingers to that place inside him.

Ben arched as if he had been shocked, gasping.

Whatever she found inside of him, it was _good_.

Ben was making ridiculous noises now-- Rey had never heard anything like it. He sounded almost like he was in pain, but she could feel the pleasure coursing through him. She worked her fingers fast and Ben brought a hand up to cup her face. His eyes were wide, first on her face then tracking down, down, across her body to where her fingers disappeared inside him. He whimpered and bit his lip.

“Oh god I'm gonna come again,” Ben groaned, and his eyes were wet and shining. Rey pushed forward to press a kiss against his throat and she _felt_ him start to come undone. She pulled back to watch as Ben screamed, body twitching and trembling.

He came again, but there was less of it this time, his dick working and spitting out what little spunk was left his body.

Ben actually did cry then. Tears running down his face as his dick refused to soften.

_Hurts, hurts, hurts._

Enough of this. Rey stood up and frantically pulled her pants off, not thinking of modesty or sexiness, only getting Ben inside of her, easing this pain for him.

She straddled his hips.

“I’m sorry it had to be me,” Ben said, face red and tear stained.

“I'm not,” Rey said, and she used her hand to guide him. It took her a few tries, but the Force between them made it easier to navigate, easier to feel her way and slide down onto him.

She was so wet, but so, so tight, and he took her quickly.

Rey cried out, a sudden pinching pressure inside of her followed by a heavy sensation-- fullness.

She gasped and tucked her head into the crook of Ben’s neck and his hands came up around her, stroking her back. He was holding back, she could feel it, the toll that this restraint took when he was in such pain, and so she began to rock against him.

“Oh,” Ben said, his breathing evening out.

_This, this is what I need._

Rey let her eyes flutter as the sensation turned from pain into something else, something deep and pleasant. She felt her body adjust to the reality of him inside of her, and after a few minutes she was able to work herself on him, meet him on every stroke.

He was so magnificent. If this was her only chance to do this, she would take it gladly. Another thought rose alongside that, darker and sour.

_He doesn't really want you, he would have rather died than touch you like this, don't get used to it._

Ben stilled beneath her, his eyes impossibly wider, dark as an empty galaxy.

“Rey--” his voice cracked.

She wasn't used to anyone hearing her thoughts, had no idea how to guard them, hadn't meant to send that to him.

She couldn't help it, she was crying.

Ben sat up further, grabbing her hips and pressing his chest flush against her.

“Rey-- I didn't think--”

“Shhh,” Rey whispered, and she kissed him. “Not now, later.”

Ben groaned but he nodded and then he was fucking her again, faster, deeper. He trailed sloppy kisses against her collar bone, brought a hand up to her tits, rubbed them through her soft cotton shirt.

 _Beautiful_ , he thought at her, _magnificent, wonderful._

Rey felt release building inside of her, just out of reach. She brought a hand down to touch herself, that little spot that always managed to get her where she needed to be when she was alone late at night.

She cried out as her body started to spasm and Ben dug his fingers into her hips, straining forward and kissing her. He groaned against her mouth as he came for the fourth time. Rey came with him, stars behind her eyes.

They collapsed in a heap, unable to move. Ben pulled out gingerly and tucked Rey into his side. They closed their eyes and drifted off to sleep.

____________

 

Rey woke hours later, eyes sticky with sleep, body sore and muscles loose. Ben was holding her still, he must be asleep. She felt out with the bond.

“I'm up,” he said softly.

Rey untangled herself from him, rising on an elbow to look at him.

He was obviously feeling better. His eyes were back to the honey brown color they normally were and his skin was pale instead of flushed and heated. His face was unreadable.

Rey started to cry. She buried her face in her hands.

“Hey, whoa, Rey, Rey sweetheart, I'm sorry, I'm so sorry-- I never would have--”

“I KNOW!” Her words came out harsh and high pitched. “You would never have wanted me, never would have dreamed of touching me, would have let yourself _DIE_ in here without even telling me-- without even considering--” she choked off, sobbing.

“Rey...” Ben looked wild and scared. “Baby look at me, you have this all wrong, so wrong. I couldn't have asked this of you. I wouldn't ever want to take this from you without you wanting it and-- and it would have killed me to watch you be… disgusted with me.”

Rey hiccuped. “I'm not disgusted with you,” she said.

Ben smiled.  “I know, now I know, but Rey look at me please. I have always wanted you, from the moment I met you. I just-- I never thought. I mean you're _so_ beautiful, so _good,_ and I'm--”

“Beautiful,” Rey said, “and good, and wonderful and Ben, I _always_ wanted you. You're the one who ran from me.”

Ben looked down at his hands. “Yeah, well, I'm an idiot.”

Rey tilted her head in agreement, but she smiled.

“I'm glad it was you,” Rey said.

“Well trust me, next time it's going to be a lot less about me and a lot more about you.”

“Oh really?” Rey said, smiling mischievously.

Ben licked his lips and then he was on her, kissing her, trailing his hands down her sides, pushing her shirt up, up, up and _off_.

“I can't-- I think I'm a little too spent to do anything for a while, but I can try to make you feel good if you let me.”

Rey nodded emphatically. She wanted Ben's hands on her like, yesterday.

He traced the underside of tits, dipping his head to catch a nipple between his teeth. Rey gasped and arched into him.

Ben’s hand moved down, down, finding its way between her legs. He rubbed at her clit gently, teasing little circles and then pushed two fingers roughly inside of her.

Rey's mouth went slack, fingernails digging into Ben’s shoulder as she canted her hips to take his fingers. They were so much bigger than her own.

Rey let her mind relax, let the bond fall fully open so Ben could feel what he was doing to her the same way she had felt him before. He crooked his fingers inside of her and she cried out. She had never been able to find this spot on her own, but Ben had found it almost instantly. She worked herself against his hand, fucking down on his fingers and groaning at the sensation.

“Wanna watch you come,” he said.

It didn't take long, the rhythm of his fingers and the look on his face, and, well, it was _Ben._

Rey felt her body coil tight, this orgasm starting so much deeper inside of her than the last.

“Ben! I'm--” she didn't finish her sentence, just cried out as she felt herself gush onto Ben's hand, body arching and twitching with her release.

“That's it, I got you sweetheart.”

Rey let out a series of panting gasps against Ben's neck as she rode out her orgasm, finally collapsing back down next to him.

“Oh my god,” she said, pushing sweat damp hair out of her eyes.

“I know,” Ben said, curling against her again. “Time to sleep now, we’ll figure out everything later. Just rest with me.”

And she could feel him, solid next to her and also inside of her, body and mind.

_You and me, us, together, always._

Always.

  
  


**Author's Note:**

> Writing smut is weird so if you want me to keep doing it pls validate me.
> 
> If you don't already, follow me on [tumblr](http://r-e-a-l-m-a-t-h.tumblr.com) and [twitter](http://www.twitter.com/violethoure666)


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